12 Incredible India Logics

Let's present this in a story form.

So here we begin a story, one Sunday, I had a great plan for a movie, with my friends and I asked my mother about it and then we had the following conversation
 Me- Mom, I have planned to go for a movie with my friends
Mom- Ohhh, so who all will be there, is there any ill mannered child in your group, oh my god is that what I taught you, go do what you want, never spend time with family
Me- But mom, no, we all are very nice children (lie).
Mom- Ohoooo, Ok, then go, but go to the washroom, take a hanky, वैसे वो प्रीति आ रही है क्या ?
Me- हाँ ।
Mom- Please, stay away from her, पता है, एक बार उसने watchman को धो दिया था, हमे हमारे संस्कार भूलने नहीं चाहिए , Today's children. Chal jaa, एक सेकंड , रुक एक और बात लड़कियों से .......

1. If you want to hang out with your friends, and you ask your mom for that then buckle up for a long speech.
  
When my mom finished, I thought finally, I will go, but then an evil phone rang, mom picked it up and after she had finished, she looked at me and said, Beta, I think don't go today, because मेरे मामा के मौसी की बुआ की छोटी बहु के भाई का बेटा हुआ है, we have to go there. और वैसे भी , बड़े होकर जब कमाने लग जाओ, तब जितना hang out करना है कर लेना
Me- But mom Who are they
Mom- You don't know them
Me- So, That means , if I don't go, it will be fine right?
Mom- नहीं नहीं अच्छा नहीं लगता
Me-But if I don't know them and they partially know me, then how comeअच्छा नहीं लगेगा
 Mom- जाना है मतलब जाना है attendance लगवानी है समझ ले ।

2. For the party of those relatives whom you don't know, you have to sacrifice your mind blowing Sunday plan and go there with an artificial smile. And mom, gives the same logic of earning money and stuff like that.

So, with my artificial smile, I reached the place, and my uncle came and did not ask me about how I was, he just asked this, पढ़ाई कैसी चल रही है , इग्ज़ैम हुआ ? मेरे मुताबिक़ PCB ले लेना।
3. People love to ask about children's studies as if they are part of teaching staff in the school.                                                                                                                       Then I saw four - five men talking nonsense, one came and said,भाई मैं अभी पनीर taste कर आता हूँ ।
Second one sad, हाँ हाँ खा आयिये
Then, the first one said, नहीं , खाना नहीं टेस्ट करूँगा मैं ज़्यादा नहीं खाता
And then the man eats two bowls of paneer.
4. Indians never accept eating or drinking too much, they just have these tantrums to save them 
Then I went inside where my mom was sitting, and there I saw , a group of 10 women laughing like monsters. I thought that someone might have cracked an awesome joke, so I thought to be the part of audience. Then I heard a woman saying
अरे मीना का चेहरा तो अपने पापा जैसा है पर उसके भाई का तो ना पापा जैसा है ना माँ जैसा हाहाहाहाहाहा।
There were a few sensible people in that group who knew that nonsense was going on, but they had no choice but to put artificial laughs.
5. Ladies love to gossip on some strange topics and god knows why they enjoy them so much. 

But then a lady recognised me and called me, my mom told me that the lady was her cousin, but the lady thought I didn't understand or something because my expression was blank so she explained me what is cousin , तुम्हारी मम्मी के मामा की बेटी हूँ मैं , समझ गए बेटा
Actually my expressions were blank because I was getting tremendously BORED!!

6. Indians love to teach their younger ones a thing that they already know  just to show that they are good explainers and they think young generation doesn't know anything about relations.

Then I took the food and got a table, their I saw a man talking to another, ummmm ok so for fun , let's name man 1 as Bahubali  and man  2 as Katappa
Bahubali  - Hey, would you like to have this pickle, it is nice
Katappa - ना ना , आचार खाकर मुझे GASSS होने लगती है । एक बार तो दस्त लग गए थे भयंकर।
 Bahubali - Ohh, sorry katappa . ( pardon me Bahubali and Katappa )
7. Indians have nothing private, everything खुल्लाम खुला।

After , my mom ate food, I thought finally I will be free. But then  a middle aged woman she said अरे इतना बड़ा हो गया , एक टाइम था जब तू मेरी गोदी में सोता था ,(laughs)

8. Ladies love to tell such childhood incidents to show that they were so attached with you or something but this can embarrass you sometimes.

Then my mom went to give the शगुन , and there the host said like always
अरे इसकी क्या ज़रूरत थी नहीं नहीं , मैं नहीं लूँगी । I think that if these people insist so much, then we shouldn't give them money. And then there will be a wrestling match in which the guest will try to hand over the money to children or in the purse of the host and the host will try to defend, I don't know for what reason.

9.  If a person gives a gift then they have to do the acting of not accepting the gift because they think that it doesn't look good to just take it easily. First do a bit of acting, then a bit of running, then having a bit of dialogues like, पाप लगता है etc, then take the money. 

Then, we went where our car was and our driver came and said जी यह जिनकी partyहैं उनका बेटा अमरीका में हैं 6 lakh तनखुआ है उसकी, और हर दिन जॉगिंग, स्विमिंग करता है, इनके ड्राइवर ने बताया मुझे ।

10. We love to gossip about others' lives and in simple language it is called-पंचायत।
Then, finally when I came home, I remembered that I had some homework left, so I sat on my study and started doing my work, then my big brother came and asked, क्या कर रहा है ??I was very irritated, so I said मैं शादी में नागिन डाँस कर रहा हूँ
My brother said, झूठा, तू तो काम कर रहा है ।

11. I don't know why, but we love to ask such silly questions whose answers we know already.
 And the last one I need not to explain by a story 

12. Indians love themselves as they are, if you tell them to have a change in behaviour, then after 15 minutes they are back to whom they were.

Ishan Sharma